To my precious Parker: Now is the time to choose your path

I believe in you!

Photo by Mayur Gala on Unsplash

You’ll wake up Friday morning as a fifth grader.

Your day will start with breakfast: oatmeal, eggs and toast, unless of course you have a special request. But we both know that what you really covet is your annual, first-day-of-school donut.

We’ll stop by Dunkin’ Donuts to snag a strawberry-frosted with sprinkles, unless of course your taste buds have changed. Your palate, after all, is maturing just as much as your physique.

You’ll jump out of our new car and run into school, wearing a crisp new outfit and sporting a spotless new backpack. You’ll be beaming with excitement.

New grade. New teachers. New classmates. New ideas. New memories.

Your outward animation will appear as the antithesis of my inner anxiety.

I’ll drive away with the same unease I’ve carried for much of the summer. After I pull off, after the half-day that serves as a settling-in day, you’re off to a weekend camping trip with your Girl Scouts troop. The thought of you spending the night anywhere without me or your mother present doesn’t sit well with my stomach.

I’ve wrestled with angst and knots in my guts for weeks leading up to this weekend. This must be what it feels like sending your kid off to college.

Whether it’s fifth grade or Girl Scouts fun, I can’t shake this nagging feeling. My sense is a swarm of know-it-all kids will return from extended time spent with their families in all corners of the world, picking up who knows what, and are ready to unleash all that they learned on any kid who’ll listen.

Both good and bad.

It might be tempting to listen to and even believe what other children say. But be careful who you accept information from and whose ideas you give consideration.

You know right from wrong. And it’s never a bad time to do the right thing.

But you’re entering a stage where school socializing will feel like your whole world. And you’re a peach of a kid who just wants to play. I love that about your personality, although it also makes me nervous. Every kid’s not like you. Every kid won’t be fun and friendly.

This is why we recite “the motto” every day.

“Know who I am, what I’m about and where I’m going.”

Let me say it another way: stay true to yourself.

Never try to be someone you’re not or do anything that feels uncomfortable just to fit in. It won’t always feel good to go against the crowd. But stay strong. And remember that what others think of you is none of your business.

You’re four months away from your 11th birthday. You’re still learning these lessons. You’re still innocent, raw and unfamiliar with much of life’s complex realities. Believe me. Relationships rank among the biggest mind-benders.

Now is the time for you to start practicing. Not just figuring out other people. But also for learning about yourself.

Parker with her donut bag before her first day of third grade on August 17, 2022.

Many of the greatest Black women entertainers you see today, from Beyonce to Simone Biles, began their careers when they were your age or younger. It took focus, discipline, sacrifice and a lot of hard work for them to get where they are. Before they committed their lives, they understood who they were, what they were about and where they wanted to go.

And you are the author of your story, Parker.

Focus now on who you want to be in the future. You can always change your mind and do something different. But you don’t want to waste precious time doing nothing or wandering through life aimlessly. Start building today the life you want tomorrow.

It’s OK to take a break from toys and games. I promise, you’ll live.

It’s not only your time. Be mindful of your behaviors and the company you keep.

Watch what you eat. What you watch and listen to. How much you exercise. Whether you’re an energy giver or energy drainer, a doer or complainer, a leader or a follower.

And please, please watch out for peer pressure. You’ll want to fit in, have friends and experience whatever everyone around you makes sound fun.

But be you!

Who are you?

You’re a confident and charming kid, an unabashed chatterbox but a brilliant thinker, learner and student. You’ve got a big heart and you’re very caring. You’re smart, selfless and a stickler.

You’re beyond your years in math, science, reading, coding and, of course, money. You love music, art, crafts, video games and, for some reason, television commercials.

You know that’s my opinion, right? But you know this time I’m pretty accurate.

I’ll always emphasize the lessons I’m instilling at home more than what they’re teaching you at school. But I want you to learn all you can in both places. Think of it as playing two different games. In order to win, you must learn two sets of rules.

So keep killing it in school.

Have an awesome first day of fifth grade, Parker.

I’m looking forward to seeing you excel.