A Mother's Day letter

To my dear mother.

Happy Mother’s Day, Mom!

Editor’s note: The following letter was written as part of an assignment for a class project during my sophomore year in college. It was the 2001-2002 school year.

I was 19 years old.

The two-page letter sits in a three-ring binder among a collection of other letters, essays, photos, milestones and mementos that encapsulate the making of me. Someday, I will present the binder to my precious Parker.

Today, with Mother’s Day approaching, I present one of those letters to my mother, Dr. Alberta Mayberry.

This letter has been lightly edited for clarity.

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Dear Mom,

It is always good to get to take time out from my busy schedule and write to you. I hate it that I do not get to see you much, but it is good when we get to talk on the phone and send emails back and forth. I am glad that you are doing good and not having too much trouble taking care of the needs of Clifton and I while we are in college. It amazes me how much you have accomplished by yourself.

You know, they talk a lot about single parent homes and the negative effects on the children. Yet, I never see anything positive about the kind of home you took care of throughout your life. You single-handedly produced four Black men who are all in good health and positive, law-abiding citizens. Sometimes I wonder just how hard it was for you to struggle through so much when you had to grow up. Thinking about that and how you managed to be very successful in life makes me forget about all of the small problems I think I may be going through.

You made it through three men in your life, several jobs, a large amount of education and raised four kids all at the same time. All of which coincided with being a Black woman. The fact that you were a single Black woman must have made it that much harder for you to succeed and follow your dreams. I can’t even begin to imagine what you had to go through in the mid-to-late 60s, 70s and 80s, when men who were sexist against women, especially Black women, saw a strong, Black woman attempting to better herself.

The fact that you endured so much in your life sets the standard for me to work just as hard to do the things that I would like to do. I believe that you passed your attributes on to me. I will try my best to use these things wisely and hopefully I can manage to do the things and have the same amazing effect that you have on people.

As a kid, I did not realize everything that you had been through and that you were about, as most kids don’t. Unfortunately for me, it was more serious than just that. As I still try and learn more about you and what you have done and would like to do in the future, I try and grasp several things that may help me later in life. You have been through so much that can be passed on to me if I simply listen and hang onto your every word.

I know this letter is nothing but praise, and the truth is, you deserve it. I am not saying that you are perfect. I am sure that you had your mistakes and regrets in life. If most children were asked to write a letter to their mother, it most likely would be full of praise because it is their mother. However, this is not the case. I see the amazing effect that you have on people and what you have done for family, friends and even strangers.

You taught me the real meaning of it is better to give than to receive.

Kicking it with Mom at her home on April 3, 2023.

As a 19-year-old young, Black male, I try to be as positive as I can about things. Yet the society that I live in has me outcast from doing the things that I would like to do sometimes. The point is that you have been an inspiration to me in my life and a motivator. I believe that if I follow your lead and example then I would manage to become a good person to society like you have become.

I thank you for all that you have done for me, and I am also sorry for everything I may have put you through when I was growing up.

I love you,

Darnell Mayberry