Don’t say you didn't know

Ask yourself if you listened.

Photo by Leon Buter on Unsplash

I no longer own much from my days as a married man.

There’s a family portrait from my wedding day I refuse to get rid of. It’s displayed prominently in my kitchen because it beautifully captures the blissful days of yesteryear, complete with several loved ones who’ve since been lost.

I still have my wedding ring, which I don’t know what to do with but would prefer to not sell for peanuts. And I’ve held on to some old furniture, dishes and clothes only because I’m frugal and don’t require much to be comfortable or content.

All other remnants of my past life, I had no problem parting with.

But there was something I didn’t know I kept all these years. I found it in the back of Parker’s closet while cleaning recently. I couldn’t believe it. I had forgotten all about it. Memories came rushing back the moment I dug it out.

All this time, I had a money manual buried in my daughter’s closet. It’s the kind of step-by-step booklet I’m building for Parker through “Money Talks.”

This one was influenced by our heavenly Father.

The book is called “Crown Biblical Financial Study.” It’s a group manual designed to make your family smarter with money while growing closer to other Christians.

I took the class with my co-parent early in our marriage, sometime in 2011 or 2012. Parker wasn’t born yet. I was a long way away from developing my current money mindset.

I’m sure I only took the class to appease my then-spouse. I probably went through the motions as fast as I could to get back to playing my PlayStation in peace.

Our hosts, Bill and Sue, were the best part of those weekly meetings. An older, established couple from our church, they had hearts to serve and ample space in their home to do so.

Sue made mouth-watering cinnamon rolls. Only two other cinnamon rolls come close to Sue’s: Missy’s in Guthrie, OK and Ann Sather’s in Chicago. Sue had me hooked on her baking. Bill helped to guide me as a Christian mentor. Both prayed with and for our young family. They had three sons and one grandchild at the time but still poured into us like family.

Two other couples made up our small group, and for two hours each week we discussed the taboo subject of money — from a spiritual standpoint.

“The purpose of the Biblical Financial Study is to teach people God’s financial principles in order to know Christ more intimately and to be free to serve him,” the book reads under the heading “Purpose” on page five.

I pulled the book from the closet’s shelf. Shame set in as soon as I started flipping pages. I couldn’t make it past the table of contents on page three.

The 10-week study outlines every foundational principle I’ve been diligently learning and leaning into over the past 18 months.

“Debt is slavery,” is how the detailed, Week 3 lesson starts on page 27.

The book goes on to offer lessons on hard work and honesty, gambling and giving, investing and compound interest, seeking appropriate counsel and, my biggest pitfall, procrastination.

I was disappointed with myself as my fingertips held the long-lost roadmap. Regret wasn’t far behind. The workbook is less than halfway complete. Answers I submitted to the weekly homework questions look horrible, mostly half-hearted, one- and two-sentence responses.

Where would I be financially now if only I paid more attention then? What would Parker’s accounts look like today?

Instead, I allowed all those years to pass. I robbed myself. I shorted Parker.

And I blamed everyone else.

I’ve often said I wasn’t taught money. Not at home. Not at school. Not at church. Not at work.

But no longer can I make that claim. Finding the “Biblical Financial Study” showed me it isn’t entirely accurate. The truth is much worse.

I just didn’t listen.

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